the wiener mom gets her groove back

So I joined a gym. It's been years since I belonged to a gym, about 4 to be a little exact. When big wiener was only wiener, I used to tool off to the gym 5 days a week, just for a little social interaction with adults. That did however have the added benefit of getting me in rocking shape. At the time I wouldn't have said that, but looking back, I should have appreciated it when I had it. I was lifting weights and doing all kinds of cardio stuff.

Then we moved and I let my membership expire. I had middle wiener and things got a little crazy and then along came little wiener and we all know what life has been like since then. A new gym opened about 10 minutes from wiener world and were offering low, low introductory rates and I am not one to pass up low rates of any kind. I joined and the gym opened in mid-December and I have been trying to go at least 3 times a week since then.

Now, this is all a little boring, I know. Here's the interesting part, okay the less boring part. I used to love to take classes, I always felt like I got a better workout when someone was telling me what to do. The class schedule is fairly limited since they're new, so it was a struggle to find something to take at the right times. I'm not showing up at the gym for a 5:30 am class, it's just never going to happen. So I found Zumba, a cardio class. Beyond that I knew nothing, so I thought I'd give it a go. Turns out, Zumba is a hip-hop Latin dance cardio class that involves a lot of shaking of booties and other shakeable parts. Fun, I thought. I can go with this. Turns out, my shakeable parts have forgotten how to shake. Turns out, when I try to swivel my hips or shake my breasties my body actually makes pained creaking sounds and sometimes refuses to move that way.

Now, I'd like to say that I could blame this on the fact that my abs are shot from having three c-sections. I wish it was that simple. I think though, that in fact. My shakeable parts have kind of frozen up into a state of old-ladydom. As I'm trying to gyrate along with the other ladies (some are very shake-y, some not so much) I come to the realization that I haven't been using my sexy parts for some time. I haven't needed to, or had the energy to, shake anything for Daddy wiener in a long time. And if we can be honest here, he doesn't require a whole lot of shaking anyway.

So after my first class I'm feeling old, but decide to go back. I do, I go back again and again. I'm not going so much for the cardio, as I am for the shaking practice. This shouldn't be so hard should it? Aren't women's bodies supposed to sway and shake and whatever else I can't do? So I've made it my mission to get "resexyfied". It might also help if the other unshakable parts didn't shake too. I guess I'll shake what I got until I can shake the other stuff. You might not want to watch, not just yet.