the wiener mom gets political

So the wiener mom has ventured out in to the wide world and it has been documented by the local news. "STAY AT HOME MOM OUT IN PUBLIC! CLOTHES ACTUALLY CLEAN(ISH)!"
Short Amy and I decided to head down to hear Michelle Obama speak on campus on Monday. LOVE Michelle Obama; would vote for her to pres. in a heartbeat. We packed up Little wiener in the stroller and power walked the mile to the stadium, where we found that the line to get into the park to hear her speak was extraordinarily long. Lucky for us, as we were making our way to the far away end, I came upon Daddy wiener's aunts in line, in matching Obama shirts. They pulled us in to join them and into their bosoms for hugs, the line stopped so we could be photographed all together, and then we were on our way. The rule follower in me felt bad for "line budging" but I think the law says if you're related it's not really budging.

We ended up right in front of the press area, pretty close to the stage. I was wearing my handmade "Tee Ball Moms for Obama" shirt and had been getting a fair amount of attention from the masses. I caught the eye of hot shot local reporter Carl Agnelly and he wanted to interview me. I put together a good amount of cohesive ideas, points and if I must say so, exhibited a great deal of grace under pressure. At the end, they took a long camera shot of my shirt. I was feeling pretty good, spoke well for my candidate, was respectful of the other side (blah blah-I don't want people getting the idea that Obama supporters are mean and nasty, that's the other side's job, as far as I can tell).

Michelle was late, which they always are, and of course once she came out to speak, Little wiener was completely exhausted and thrashing around, moaning. I had to sit down on the ground and give him the boob, so he fell asleep so everyone around me wouldn't give me the stink eye. He did fall asleep and I was able to stand up again and listen, but holding him and cheering simultaneously was tricky. Amy and I had to leave at 11:00 so I could get to preschool in time to pick up Middle wiener. We left the sleeping wiener with Aunties and basically ran home. Very hard for me to do without a sports bra-significant jostling was experienced.

Now that I was going to be on TV I felt the need to call just about everyone I knew to tell them to watch. Watch how smart I am! Watch how poised I am! So articulate! When the moment came we had the VCR set and were on the edges of our seats. Guess what? Of my whole, long, intelligent, poised interview they played only one sentence. Just the one. The real star of the show was my chest. They showed the close up of my shirt, which encompasses my massive breast-feeding chest. So there it is, in the archives. My boobs. Daddy wiener said, "that was my favorite part!" Oh, just kidding he added...

the wiener mom has a sick day

Sick, Sick, Sick. The wiener mom is sick. So sick in fact that Daddy wiener had to stay home from work yesterday, no skin off his nose I'm sure. I'm never sure what to do when I'm sick. Too sick to do normal stuff, but would love to watch TV all day. However, the TV is in the living room, so I'm not sequestered away from prying wieners. So I'm stuck in my bedroom. I wish I could say that I slept all day, but sleep be damned. My throat hurt so much that I couldn't sleep. I just laid there and thought. About nothing and everything. It's what I do. I like to refer to it as mental diarrhea. Now, there's a pretty picture.

I'm feeling slightly better today, just watching and waiting to see if my head explodes. Hopefully, none of the little wieners caught it from me. The only thing worse than a sick wiener mom, is sick little wieners.

the wiener mom has a slightly unnatural obsession with adults that are nice to her

Help! Just found out last night my hair stylist is gone! Where? Don't know! I am in serious shock and disbelief, I feel like my world has been rocked (and not in a good way!). Do I care that much about my hair? No. But he talked to me. We had wonderful conversations, about all the things the little wieners don't care about: movies that aren't animated, books that we dissected in our youth when we thought we were so much deeper than we actually turned out to be (well me at least), politics. He humored me, he laughed at my dark humor and tried to laugh at my puns. And he's gone! I have short hair, so I was there enjoying conversation with him every six weeks for the last two years. I thought I meant something to him! I feel like a failure of a client; wasn't I enough to keep him there?! Yes, I'll admit he needs to have his own life, but I need to talk to him. He was one of the people on my list of adults I like to talk to.

Is all this a little overboard? Yes, of course it is. But, I have come to the realization lately that I crave adult interaction. Somehow, Daddy wiener isn't enough either. I quickly attach to people who are nice to me and go out of my way to talk to them. I probably talk their ears off. I think that I may have heard one fall, just now... If you are nice to me; I will be your friend. Oh, it also helps if you're old enough to use the potty by yourself and don't need the crusts cut off your sandwiches.

I went through a similar thing after Baby wiener was born. I mourned the loss of my OB. I love her! And, even more than her, I loved getting to see her every month (and then more!). She was trapped in a room with me and paid to listen to me talk. I miss her. I've even gone so far to contemplate some imaginary gynecological symptoms that facilitate seeing her. If I didn't have to get a pelvic, that would be better, but we do what we have to.

Am I crazy? Maybe a little (but in the good way). I don't just talk, I listen too. I have a friend, Tall Amy, we'll call her. She calls me and says, "Tell me something! Tell me anything! Tell me what's happening in your life! In the lives of anyone you know! Throw me a bone here!" Guess what, she's a stay-at-home mom too. We need people to talk to! If I start talking to you simply because you made eye contact with me at the library, please humor me. That conversation, the one where I tell you way more about me than you need to know, may be the thing that gets me through the day. Just don't ask me to cut the crusts off of your sandwich in return.

Update: I'm like a giddy school girl. My hair stylist man called yesterday! He opened his own salon, so I can sleep peacefully again, knowing that there's one more person who has to talk to me.

the wiener mom's favorite game

Ahhh yes, fall is approaching! School has resumed and I am down a wiener. Big wiener is off to first grade. Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings I'm down 2 wieners, while Middle wiener is at preschool (Joy! Joy! The shrieking that lasted all summer has only caused minimal damage to my ears, full recovery may still be possible.) So for 2.5 blessed hours three days a week it's just me and Little wiener. And, he takes a nap, yeah! So mommy takes a little nap too, as interrupted sleep is not the wiener mom's best friend and causes her much irritability and general droopiness the next day. Maybe some day Little wiener will sleep through the night...
Anyway, on to the wiener mom's favorite game. When it's just me and Middle wiener and Little wiener is napping, Middle wiener has a new favorite game. Guess what? Unlike most new favorite games that wieners create (motorboat, Max and Ruby, uni-colored super tall Lego tower) the wiener mom LOVES this game.

What could this game be you ask? We call it the "We're so tired" game. It starts like this: all participating players are soooo tired. Tired enough that we have to lay down somewhere. Preferably a bed, but I'll settle for the couch or even the floor. Then, we pretend to sleep. Here's a secret, some of the participating players (me, but shhhh) may actually be sleeping. Middle wiener can play this game for upwards of half an hour. Half an hour of fake (or real) sleeping! Every once in a while he sits up and says, "Wake up! It's morning!" but usually we get tired again so quickly that we have to lay down again, within seconds really.
Some of you may be familiar with this game, but might know it by one of it's other aliases: hibernation, or operate on a patient, or Mommy is the boat that lies still.

Whatever you call it; I say let's play!