the wiener mom is obsessed

Obsessed I tell you! Vehicles! can't stop seeing vehicles wherever I go. Pointing them out to little wiener all day long has them permeating my being. I now get excited to see a cement mixer... when I'm in the car alone. Anytime we are outside or near a window or watching tv (but we NEVER do that) we are looking for vehicles.
What kind? Doesn't matter, if it has wheels it is intensely interesting/exhilirating to little wiener and now to me too. Big wiener went through similar phases with Jeeps, MiniCoopers, Fire trucks, John Deere tractors and Herbie cars.
I am the girl who grew up with Barbies, dolls and playing school. We had nary a truck in our house, no matchbox cars, just legos that my sister and I used to build dream houses for tiny lego people.
And now, I can't get enough. I actually squealed with glee the other day when we saw a street sweeper and...
wait for it (building suspense)
a fire truck RIGHT behind it!
Can you feel your heart pounding? Your blood pumping?
I know, I know! Go out into the world and search! It's all about noticing the small big stuff.

the wiener mom and her very wonderful big wiener Part 2

We had conferences last week for Big wiener; our big second grader. He has the same teacher that he had last year in first grade (who is wonderful by the way!) Daddy wiener and I didn't know what to expect on the front of How's He Doing in School...

Here's what we see at home: a creative, smart, imaginative boy who comes home from school, throws his backpack on the floor and picks up legos/playmobil/trains, etc and plays until the sun goes down. In other words, he doesn't give a rat's #@$ about anything faintly stinking of academia. When homework time rolls around (all 10 minutes of it) there's an epic fit of exhaustion at the bothersome task of spelling some words/reading out loud/solving A math problem. So, daddy wiener and I are left wondering what he does at school, does he collapse from fatigue with each change in subject matter? Does he pout when it's time to go to reading group? If we ask him about the best part of his day... it's always recess. We have now stipulated his answer must concern "Learning time", then he has to think incredibly hard about the question.

Being a former teacher myself, I don't settle for "He's doing fine." I want to see the hard proof. Ms. T knows this and had his assessments ready to show us.
Ta-Da! Big wiener is doing great- proficient reader, one of the best writers in his class (smug smile from me) and although he still can't tell time worth a darn, he does have some advanced problem solving skills! Hallelujah!

It's not that I didn't think that he could do it, it's just I never see him do it, so I wondered. Daddy wiener and I left that conference with tears in our eyes. Our first little baby, now a a non-time telling, problem solving, reading, writer. Our boy.

You know how people always say (old people mainly): "They grow up so fast."? Well, I'd like to change that to say sometimes they grow up when you aren't around to see it.

the wiener mom just wants to know

what is so g.d. offensive about getting your hair cut? I don't get this and don't expect it, especially when Daddy Wiener says after Little wiener's last haircut (which I refused to attend because of the the horrific abuse he bestowed on me at the one before)
"He was great! No trouble at all!"
What the #@$**?!

Perhaps he has a doppelganger that appears for Daddy.

It's the same shop, same haircutting lady (rocking a 90's version of Kate G's do), same fire truck you can sit in...
and yet...
It has to be me.
How many times have I been told, "____ Wiener is PERFECT for me." and wondered who this aforementioned wiener was.
It has to be me.

I know, I know they save the worst for mom because they know she'll love them anyway. I know, I know, but it just gets tiresome.
When it's noon and you have two half naked wieners begging for chocolate chips while they simutanesouly play with water and refuse to eat lunch (AGAIN) you get tired.

When you have one wiener in a time out for twenty minutes becuase he refuses to either get dressed or go to school or eat lunch (AGAIN) and the other wiener is pulling at your pants leg for chocolate chips (STILL) you get tired.

When it's nap time and you have two hours to yourself, the bed is calling your name "Wiener mom, come to me" and yet you have a #$@** load of stuff to do you get tired. Then you get even more tired when Little wiener spends an indescribable amount of time yelling, "Get Up!"

Basically what I'm trying to get at is: I'm tired.

p.s. the haircut, not so bad, despite the screaming, twisting and general belligerence, which was only interupted very breifly by an Elmo phone.

the wiener mom and the most perfect sentence ever written

I have discovered the most perfect sentence ever crafted in the English language. It speaks volumes in only 7 words. It speaks of pain and disappointment and the hope for a better tomorrow. It speaks of the inner longings of man and the things he may never have.
It is...
Wait for it...

Tom did not get a hot bun.

This is the first sentence of Big wiener's first spelling test EVER.

He got 100%. I am so proud and yet, so profoundly sad for Tom and his lack of a hot bun.

Maybe next time, Tom.