the wiener mom can take criticism, really she can

So, being the ever-hopeful optimist with unending confidence in my abilities and talents (guffaw) I entered this years Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest, fully expecting to, you know, win and stuff. Guess what? I didn't win; actually no surprise. They accept the first 5000 entries and there's a mad rush to be one of those 5000. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I wouldn't win, or apparently even advance past the pool of 5000. In my heart of heart of hearts though, I hoped I would.

Part of the draw for entering this contest, besides the possibility of becoming a published author with an award winning best sellling novel to your name, is that you get several "reviews" from "reviewers" on the first 50 pages of your novel. Each and every contestant gets 2 reviews, so that's 10000 reviews, so you can imagine that they may not be that long, nor really that helpful.

The first I like to believe was written by a woman, who although she may not have children, she does understand them and has an inkling of an idea of what it takes to raise them. We're not even talking specifically about wieners here, just the smaller, younger humans that we call "children". She said my novel excerpt was endearing and appealing and though not her type of book, she thought it would be successful.

Ah... love and flowers.

Now, the second review I feel deep in my soul was written by a man. A man who has possibly never met nor been a child and certainly has no idea the level of care that is required to prevent one from perishing from poisining, trauma to the head, or impacted bowels while under your care. He described it as agnst driven. He said it would take patience to get through. He said that the complaining of the "HOUSEWIVES" was repetitious and monotonous. HOUSEWIVES? Anyone who has any knowledge of the requirments of child rearing would NOT refer to a mother as a "housewife"
Side note: Desperate Housewives seems to have made it acceptable to use the term, but I would not describe the women on that show as housewives, most of them work outside the home OR even stay at home mothers. I haven't watched it in awhile, but I'm not sure that Eva Longoria's character qualifies as a dedicated stay at home mom. But, I digress.

So, my first reaction to Mr. Negative reviewer man was shock. "How dare he tell me MY life is repetitious, monontonous or agnst driven!"
Side note: my novel is a story of 5 stay at home mothers and their quests for happiness. So it is actually about my life, very thinly (if at all) veiled.
I was a little upset. Tried to shake it off. Then I tried to be rational and think about each one of his "helpful" critiques.
Agnst driven: Hmmmmm... yes, sometimes my life is angst driven. Okay, it might happen more frequently than I'd like to admit.
Requires Patience: yup. Got that one too.
Repetitious and Monotonous: Okay, Okay. I think we got that one covered too. After reading the same Elmo book for the 17th time (in a day) or pretending to be Bob the Builder's sidekick again (curse you Wendy!) I defenitely have the feeling that I've been here before. Oh, because I have.

So.... Mr. Negative Reviewer has actually accurately summed up the state of my life. Now, I'm depressed. I think the wiener mom has some serious thinking to do. Serious thinking and burning of an effigy of Mr. Negative Reviewer.