like the wiener mom needs this stress

So, Santa (the bastard) brought the wieners an aquarium. Not just any aquarium, but a 40 gallon aquarium. Why start small, right? The bigger the aquarium, the easier it is to keep clean (allegedly). It has something to do with surface area and volume and some other mathematical terms that I blanked out on. I'm all for easy. Fish- easy, right? Right?

Not so much apparently. We begin with starter fish; in other words, really small, boring fish that are very hardy. They set the healthy bacteria level in the water. Blah, blah, blah, more words I blank out on-this time science. Hardy equals easy right? Once again, right?

It seems that our particular aquarium is a death trap for starter fish. We lost 4 out of the 6. But, in our defense it wasn't really our fault. No, really. We had a bully fish that picked on other fish until they just died in order to be left alone. So we were down to 2 fish and then had to wait a month before we could get more (read bigger and better) fish.

We had our water tested and everything was good to go. We chose 4 very hardy (please let this be easy) fish. Little did we know just how easy one of them turned out to be. Mrs. Platy had to go and get herself knocked up by Mr. Platy.

Side note: One Platy continuously poking the other in the side with a modified penis fin = babies 6 weeks later. Google it if you must.

So now just about 6 weeks later we have a full aquarium (15 fish) and Mrs. Platy about to give birth. What will happen then you ask?
She will give birth to live fish, called fry (hee-hee) and then all the other fish will eat them. The end.

Just the perfect lesson for little wieners everywhere. I looked into the other options, but they involved a lot of effort and a lot of money. Like say, getting a separate tank, filter and heater for the mother, until she gives birth. Then, getting her out asap, so she doesn't eat her own young. If you have enough plants and other hiding spots some of the fry might live amongst the cannibals. So, we're going that route. Hope for the best and all that.

Now Mrs. Platy is in the process of finding the perfect place to give birth; she's trying out different locations around the tank; in the green plant, under the orange plant, in Catfish Stevens' secret lair. Meanwhile, Mr. Platy and his sidekick Swordtail are nervously following her around and trying to get all up in her business. You'd think they cared, instead of just hangning around waiting for dinner.

So, how does this possibly cause the wiener mom stress? Let nature take it's course right? It's driving me nuts. I'm constantly checking for spawn. I'm trying to gauge her level of pregnancy. I'm wishing that Mr. Platy and Swordtail would just leave her the eff alone.

Besides the fact that I'm still waiting for someone to die. If I can't find Mustache I freak out. If one of the glass catfish isn't where they usually are I check the filter to see if another one of thier lifeless bodies is stuck to it (that wasn't our fault either). We've been able to keep a good many fish alive for awhile now, but I'm constantly on edge. Of the 23 fish that have been under our care, we've only lost 6 and IT WASN'T OUR FAULT! Those odds aren't so bad; I'd try to figure it out, but that would involve math.