the wiener mom used to be nice

You heard it here first; the wiener mom is not as nice as she used to be. She doesn't have time to be as nice as she used to be. "What?" you say, "How does someone not have time to be nice?" Let me explain...

In the beginning the wiener mom was nice to everyone, really, really nice (like too nice). She was even too nice to people who weren't even nice to her to begin with. She also worried a lot; all the time about some pretty irrational things (like that she might get abducted by aliens-really). She had sooooo much time and with her time, she worried and was nice. She worried about what people thought and how they felt. She spent untold amounts of time trying to analyze EVERYTHING.

Then big wiener was born. She had slightly less time to worry about being nice and all those other irrational things (the aliens again-really!). She was still way too nice to just about everyone. She took a lot of crap from a lot of people.

Then along came middle wiener. Now, a little less time for the worrying and the niceness. The irrational things that once occupied her brain started to disappear (no more aliens!). Her brain was filling up with wieners and laundry and more wieners and still more laundry and all those other exctiing things.

Then, last but by no means least, came little wiener. Now, no time for worrying. Is daddy wiener going to get hit by a semi and squished riding his bike home from work? Can't think about it! Is Phyllis mad because I didn't forward her chain email-don't care! Hear that Phyllis? The wiener mom's brain is so overflowing that she doesn't worry much anymore. She also isn't unfailingly generous, compassionate, helpful and nice to every Tom, Dick and Harriet. Like I said, she's got her own wieners to worry about. The wiener mom has a much smaller circle of friends and their friends who can stand on thier own. Friends who don't need constant attention or fawning. The wiener mom is happy because now she doesn't have to worry about who thinks what and how do they feel about every damn thing she's ever done or said; even if she wanted to she doesn't have time.

Just for your information: other things the wiener mom doesn't have time for anymore:
American Idol, daily showers, clean jeans, sweeping, feeling bad about herself, reading crap, straightening her hair, organizing the basement, eating fiber, and cleaning out the drain in the bathroom sink (whose hair is that?)