the wiener mom has a sick day

Sick, Sick, Sick. The wiener mom is sick. So sick in fact that Daddy wiener had to stay home from work yesterday, no skin off his nose I'm sure. I'm never sure what to do when I'm sick. Too sick to do normal stuff, but would love to watch TV all day. However, the TV is in the living room, so I'm not sequestered away from prying wieners. So I'm stuck in my bedroom. I wish I could say that I slept all day, but sleep be damned. My throat hurt so much that I couldn't sleep. I just laid there and thought. About nothing and everything. It's what I do. I like to refer to it as mental diarrhea. Now, there's a pretty picture.

I'm feeling slightly better today, just watching and waiting to see if my head explodes. Hopefully, none of the little wieners caught it from me. The only thing worse than a sick wiener mom, is sick little wieners.

the wiener mom's favorite game

Ahhh yes, fall is approaching! School has resumed and I am down a wiener. Big wiener is off to first grade. Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings I'm down 2 wieners, while Middle wiener is at preschool (Joy! Joy! The shrieking that lasted all summer has only caused minimal damage to my ears, full recovery may still be possible.) So for 2.5 blessed hours three days a week it's just me and Little wiener. And, he takes a nap, yeah! So mommy takes a little nap too, as interrupted sleep is not the wiener mom's best friend and causes her much irritability and general droopiness the next day. Maybe some day Little wiener will sleep through the night...
Anyway, on to the wiener mom's favorite game. When it's just me and Middle wiener and Little wiener is napping, Middle wiener has a new favorite game. Guess what? Unlike most new favorite games that wieners create (motorboat, Max and Ruby, uni-colored super tall Lego tower) the wiener mom LOVES this game.

What could this game be you ask? We call it the "We're so tired" game. It starts like this: all participating players are soooo tired. Tired enough that we have to lay down somewhere. Preferably a bed, but I'll settle for the couch or even the floor. Then, we pretend to sleep. Here's a secret, some of the participating players (me, but shhhh) may actually be sleeping. Middle wiener can play this game for upwards of half an hour. Half an hour of fake (or real) sleeping! Every once in a while he sits up and says, "Wake up! It's morning!" but usually we get tired again so quickly that we have to lay down again, within seconds really.
Some of you may be familiar with this game, but might know it by one of it's other aliases: hibernation, or operate on a patient, or Mommy is the boat that lies still.

Whatever you call it; I say let's play!

the wiener mom is too too obviously not under 21

The wiener mom went to the grocery store today. She was directed to buy a case of beer for Daddy wiener. The liquor department of the grocery store is papered with signs, every flat surface demands I.D. You will be denied without I.D. Do not attempt to buy without I.D. Go back out to the car now and get your I.D. Even, belligerence at I.D. checking law will not be tolerated (?)
The wiener mom steps up to the cashier, loads case of beer onto checkout counter and dutifully presents I.D. As previously stated, the wiener mom is a rule-following rule follower. Cashier scans case of beer and proceeds to tell the wiener mom to pony up $26.84. The cashier doesn't look at my I.D. I re-present said I.D. and wait to be cleared. He glances at it and restates my total. The wiener mom is too too obviously not under 21.
I know that, of course, I'm thirty-ish, very far from 21. He could at least humor me with a faux check. I must look old today. Is it the sagging breasts (that still garner a lot of sneaky looks from old men)? Is it the wrinkles? I know that it isn't the white hairs. The wiener mom's oldest pre-wiener friend, Troopa, was here on Sunday and helped me say bye-bye to the bad hairs. I just really and truly do not look that young anymore.
I have been fooling myself for a long time (apparently). I still see myself as a young twenty-ish thing. I still feel like that too, except when I spend all day running after wieners. I still have quite a few moments were I can't even believe that I have three wieners, am I old enough to do that? Yes, apparently I am.
Maybe next time I should have a belligerent fit at not being carded. That would show them that I've still got some fight left in me. Until my back starts hurting...