the wiener mom is not trying to turn you on, really.

So, picture this if you will:
Women's locker room at the gym. Women in various stages of dress, undress, and toweling. Oh, forgot to mention, median age here is probably 70.
As I come out of the shower and shuffle through the maze of naked old lady flesh, trying my hardest not to bump anyone in their nether regions, I overhear this:
"You want me to rub lotion on your back?"
"Sure, thanks."
Innocuous, right?
Now, I'm not trying to turn this blog into a forum for discussion of elderly, lesbian sexy time, this is what struck me...

I can not picture asking one of my lady friends to slather lotion on my nude body. Not for the reasons that you might think, but because I don't want anyone to touch my flab. I tense up when someone hugs me and brushes up against my love handles. I suck my stomach in for pictures. I prickle when daddy wiener rubs lotion on any part of me that isn't toned (which constitutes most of me).

This is my question: is this sort of body confidence (Please touch my naked dimpled flesh!) something that comes with age? Someday will I have the "balls" to be who I am and not feel the need to hide or make excuses? What age does that happen? I feel closer to that than I did when I was 20, but still vast worlds away from the level of comfort I witnessed after Senior Swim Class let out.

If it's not related to age, is it these particular ladies? Were they always this confident? Were they always this "Screw you world! I have cellulite! Wanna make something of it?" Does that mean that there's no hope for me?

I have my choice of 3 different locker rooms at the gym, but I choose this locker room, the one connected to the warm water arthritis pool, about 90% of the time. Why? These ladies come once a week to flail their arms and legs around in the pool, to walk laps and march. They feel good about that; like they've accomplished something.There's a camaraderie there too; WE accomplished this together and now we are going to have coffee at the bakery up the street. It reminds me that I should be proud of what I accomplished today too. No, I didn't make it to the gym 5 days this week; 4 days was hard enough. No, I'm not at my goal weight, but I'm pretty damn close and for the most part I like what I see (in dim light).

But, no you can't rub lotion on my back. But, when I'm 70 I hope to have the sort of friends who would offer. I like to think I'd be that sort of friend too. Then we could wring out our giant swim suits and go eat a pastry because we deserved it.